WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
