Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
