i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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