Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
