My nipple is on Facebook.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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