"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize