he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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