some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
