I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You can't motorboat a personality
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
