Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
