oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i believe in u and ur pee
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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