BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
