You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
