If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Damn victory sex feels great
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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