He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
