thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
