I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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