I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
