Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
