Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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