i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
When did angry sex become our thing?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize