Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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