handjob tips. give me some.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
