Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
