Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
