my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
