My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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