well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
