Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
