I wish i was in the wii world.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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