how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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