the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
