He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
