I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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