This is not my ceiling
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
