GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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