Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
