Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
