I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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