could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Girls should come with a carfax report
why do cheetos always look like penises
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
