Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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