consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
