The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it's like iHOP with fire
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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