if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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