apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
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if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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