You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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