We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
