Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
