Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
