BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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