dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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