and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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