Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize