She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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